While in Hanoi, we had the chance to get to meet and talk with a group of Vietnamese college seniors from the Institute of International Relations. 

While there, I talked with a young woman, Ho Vu Diem Hang, for most of the night.  She was an incredibly intelligent and funny person, and her English was excellent.  We talked about everything from relationships to getting jobs when we graduate, from the Vietnam War to politics.

We talked all night and got onto the subject of what Vietnamese call the American War.  I was asking her questions about it and she interrupted and asked, “What is the main difference between our two countries?”  I replied that there were many differences and it was hard to pick a single one, but she pressed the issue.  I said the main difference was that the United States has never been attacked or had a war on our soil since the Civil War, and that Vietnam has been at war for over 1000 years with the Chinese, 100 years with the French, and also wars with America and Cambodia—all on their own soil.  They have constantly throughout history had to defend their country from foreign invaders, and she said that is something that the Americans should have realized going into the American War—that one of the most important ideals for the Vietnamese is their independence, and they will do anything to achieve that.  It was such a strong statement that I was taken aback by it.  This is how she knows of the realities of war, because she has seen the awful things it has done to her country and her family.

We then got to talk about a lighter subject—our age.  She asked when my birthday was and I told her it was in 1980 and that I was 22 years old.  She told me that couldn’t be true because she was born in 1981 and was 23.  After a little confusion, she explained to me that the Vietnamese child starts their life at conception.  So when a Vietnamese child is born, that day becomes her first birthday, while that day is day one in our lives.  I explained that when we are born, that starts our first day of life.  It was interesting seeing how the Vietnamese look at life.

We had a wonderful night and at the end of the night, she gave me a book entitled Impressions of Vietnam.  She had only one of these books with her and said she wanted to give it to the one person she got closest with, which I was very flattered by.  We exchanged Email addresses, which is when I found out she also is fluent in Chinese, and we have been writing back and forth ever since.  She even told me that her name, Diem Hang, means Beautiful Moon in Vietnamese.  We remain friends to this day.