Perspectives on Coming Out
Coming Out
Coming out is truly a personal, life-long process. Throughout life, you decide whether or not you are going to come out to your friends, parents, siblings, co-workers, supervisors, minister, mentors, and even everyday strangers. However, before coming out to others, one must embark on the journey of coming out to his/herself. This can be a time of great reflection, high emotions, awkwardness, and above all else, empowerment.
Coming Out to Yourself
Coming out to yourself is the first part of your journey. If the idea of coming out is new to you, you may be wondering what exactly "coming out" entails? How do you know if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or questioning? What are the facts about sexuality, gender identity and sexual orientation? How can you tell if you are attracted to the same sex, both sexes, etc.? What does transgender mean? All of these questions are natural to ask and over time, you will become more confident in their answers.
Coming Out to Others
After coming out to yourself, a common next step is to come out to others. Some people find that testing the waters before coming out to friends and family is helpful. Others find that coming out in the online community is a good way to begin talking to others. No matter who you are coming out to, be it a friend, family member, doctor, mentor, child, etc., remember that not everyone is used to being around someone who identifies as GLBTQ. Some may be welcoming and open to the conversation, while others may be somewhat unsure about what to say or do. For both parties, this process takes time, patience and understanding.
Coming Out Throughout Life
Even after coming out to yourself and the important people in your life, you will find that coming out is a life-long journey that requires you to make frequent decisions about whether to come out to someone new. For example, GLBTQ people must make coming-out decisions in the workplace, the military, and in a place of worship. Remember that coming out is an empowering process for yourself, and those around you. As you come out in the GLBTQ community, you give others the strength, courage and support to do the same. In addition, you may challenge the views of others regarding homophobia and heterosexism. Coming out truly is a challenging, transformative journey that spans a lifetime.
Adapted from the Human Rights Campaign, 2004 all rights reserved.
You might also want to pick up a copy of HRC's Guide to Coming Out, either online or by visiting GLBTQ Services.