We have seen in Topic 1 that you have to plan before your write, and in Topic 2 that you have the organize the content of your document in a logical way. Now we can get to the level of the sentences. "Write clear sentences" is a pretty vague instruction. How do you actually write a clear sentence? In this topic we will try to give an answer to this question. We will see what unclear sentences are like and discuss some principles that help you see how these sentences can be improved.

When you write, please keep in mind to:

• Write the way you talk
• Use active voice rather than passive voice whenever possible
• Use a readable sentence pattern
• Avoid overlong sentences
• Avoid groups of nominalizations

• Other suggestions for clear sentences

Write the way you talk

The first trick to write readable sentences is to use ordinary words. Write the way you talk. Do you normally use words like "commence" instead of "begin," and "prior to" in stead of "before"? Most people are much more comfortable with plain, spoken English. Have a look at the next example to see how the use of many impressive words doesn’t make for a particularly readable sentence.

EXAMPLE
Subsequent to the passage of subject legislation, it is incumbent upon you to advise your organization to comply with it.

Or, in ordinary words: After the law passes, you must tell your people to comply with it.

In the example "comply" is used instead of "follow it" to make the message a little more urgent. You don’t always have to use ordinary words, but you can make it, to use a word from computer terminology, your default. You can always use a different word if the context requires it.

You also must eliminate jargon as much as possible. When you do use a specific technical term, make sure you define it.

Remember that your audience will learn the most from your writing when you do not distract them with difficult words, abbreviations, jargon and long sentences.

Your job is to make the information as easily accessible as possible.

Think of ordinary words...

Rewrite a sentence using ordinary words.

Use active voice rather than passive voice whenever possible

Readability experts tell us that passive voice takes longer to comprehend than active voice, even for a good reader. Also passive voice sentences are often too ambiguous; it is hard to figure out who is actually doing what to whom. You find passive voice often used in bureaucratic or legal language where the writer feels that he must cover all eventualities. In general, use the active voice, which tells who or what is performing the action of the sentence.

Active voice:
The committee reviewed the software.
Passive voice:
The software was reviewed by the committee.

In general, only use the passive

• If the doer is unknown or unimportant.
  Doer unknown: the computer was stolen last week.
  Doer unimportant: The door was left open to cool the room.
• If more emphasis needs to be put on the receiver of the action than on the doer.
  Emphasize the receiver: Computer-based training is available on the web.

In office communications we see passive voice used much too frequently. Use personal pronouns to improve readability and avoid overuse of the passive voice.

In addition, it becomes clear who is responsible for doing what.

EXAMPLES
Passive voice:

1. A number of benefits are provided by data hiding.
   
   
2. Many multimedia features are included in Windows 95.
   
   
3. A task can be marked as complete on a person’s timefile and the project is updated accordingly when that timefile is "posted."

Active voice:

1. Data hiding provides a number of benefits.
   
   
2. Windows 95 includes many multimedia features.
   
   
3. By marking a task as complete on your timefile, you update the project when you post your timefile.

Recognize passive voice.

From passive to active.

Should you always use active voice?

Use a readable sentence pattern

Do not transpose lengthy additions between subject and verb or between verb and object. Such interruptions impede the flow of meaning and result in hard-to-read sentences.

Compare the readability of the two sentences below.
The subject and verb are in bold type.

EXAMPLE
Poor: The cross-functional team, on technical grounds, on resource grounds, and on economic grounds, approved all design details.

Better: The cross-functional team approved all the design details because they met technical, resource and economic requirements.

In online communications we see a lot of unwieldy sentences with additions added in parentheses. There might be one in your e-mail box right now. Have a look at the following real life example:

EXAMPLE
Poor: As he pointed out, however, that results in giving your Miami userid and password to a non-Miami server (which may or may not be storing that information), thus (potentially) compromising your Miami e-mail account and any and all other Miami servers and services where you may be using the same userid and password.

Better: As he pointed out, the result is that you give your Miami userid and password to a non-Miami server that may or may not be storing that information. You then potentially compromise your Miami e-mail account and all other Miami servers and services where you may be using the same userid and password.

Use a readable sentence pattern (1)

Use a readable sentence pattern (2)

Avoid overlong sentences

Don’t give too much information or write sentences of more than 25 words. When a sentence is too long, your brain doesn’t get the rest it needs to process the new information. Try to understand what is said in the following example. Which sentence is easier to understand?

EXAMPLE
Long sentence: I do not believe there are any upgrades included in this for the 10+ new ones—this needs to be checked—there is no limit on the number of servers that can be received by an institution as long as the 10 per PO is purchased.

Better: Although this needs to be checked, I do not believe there are any upgrades included for the 10+ new ones. There is no limit on the number of servers an institution can receive as long as the 10 per PO is purchased.

Avoid overlong sentences, but don’t make them too short either. Variety in sentence length will make sure your text doesn’t become monotonous, and you can also use the variety to emphasize key points. If something is really important, say it in a short sentence.

A reader’s impression of the length of the sentence does not only depend on the number of words. Other characteristics of the sentence will make it seem long, such as stacked phrases, separation of subject and verb, and negative constructions.

Sentence length is also relative to readers. Novice readers need to absorb the new information in small chunks. More experienced readers with background knowledge to your subject will appreciate more complex sentences that relate different parts of the sentence.

Rewrite a long sentence.

Omit needless words to write a short sentence.

Avoid groups of nominalizations

Nominalizations are nouns created from verbs, usually by adding the suffix –ion. To enhance the readability of your sentence:

1. Look for nominalizations.
2. Change the nominalizations back into verbs, and see if they can be used to illustrate the action in the sentence.
3. Find the subject.
4. Rewrite the sentence.
   
   

EXAMPLE of too many nominalizations.
The nominalizations are underlined.
Poor:
If cooperation from the team members is forthcoming, the achievement of a consensus and finally the elimination of political bickering will result.

Better:
If team members cooperate, we can achieve a consensus and eliminate political bickering.

Replace nominalizations with verbs.

Rewrite a sentence using verbs instead of nominalizations.

Other suggestions for clear sentences

• If you use abbreviations, use the full name first and give the abbreviation in brackets, for example: the Miami University Knowledge Base (KB). Common abbreviations are listed in the Standard Glossary of Terms at http://www.muohio.edu/mcis/glossary/
• Use the positive rather than the negative form of a statement.
• If sentences are to be shortened, do not eliminate connectives like "but, because, therefore, however, etc."
• Omit needless words, and avoid using redundancies like "first and foremost" and "oftentimes."
• Do not pile up IF clauses; rather revise the sentence so you can list the conditions separately.
• Avoid using multiple negatives.

Define abbreviations.

Use the positive form of a statement.